One night I was talking with a 70+ year-old relative of Esperanza’s who was visiting from Tegucigalpa. When I asked about her family she said she had several children but that believe it or not only one still lives with her. In the United States I would be thinking, “Only one you say? What is your dead-beat 40-year-old son doing living with you anyway?” Here this is totally normal, if not expected. Hondurans don’t normally move out of the house unless they have a reason to.
For one of Esperanza’s grown sons to move out and live alone just to have his own space would be very strange here. Grown children move out because they get married or because they find a good job that is far away. They don’t move just to be independent. According to our Spanish teacher Miriam, Honduran mothers are very clingy will often encourage their children to continue living with them even when they have families of their own.
One reason large families often live under the same roof is lack of resources. Most young single people can’t afford to live in houses or apartments of their own, and older retired people can’t afford to stay in their houses without the paychecks that their working children bring home. Hondurans often live in close quarters because they can’t afford anything else. Several people sleeping in a bedroom with multiple people in the same bed is common among poorer families.
Honduran parents have reason to keep their children close. In a country where government help is hard to come by and most people can’t save for retirement, family provides a necessary network of support. Hondurans expect that their children will care for them until they die. Children who don’t are seen as neglectful. There are nursing homes here for the elderly who have no one to care for them, but they are not happy places and are seen as a disgraceful last resort.
I have heard several Hondurans talk about the disintegration of the family here. Mainly they are talking about the alarming amount of single mothers. Divorce and single parenthood are so common here that I’m almost surprised when I see a couple in their twenties or thirties that is married and living together. What’s interesting is that while the bonds between fathers and mothers are weak here, the bonds between mothers and children and between grandparents and grandchildren are amazingly strong.
